learning from your mistakes and growing from your failures
Motivation speaker Anthony Robbins once said “There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.” I for one have experienced a lot of results that I didn't expect and for that matter didn't desire. But, from each result I grew. I looked at what I did right and what I did wrong and evaluated the results and adjusted my game plan to take me to a result that would be more desirable.
Self-examination and introspection are the tools of trade if you want to win this game and garner the results you are looking for. I am going to share with you a very personal experience and give you an example of results that I was not looking for and how it played out in my growth and learning.
They say that the school of hard knocks has a high tuition and in this case the tuition was through the roof. But, in the end I found myself with an honorary PhD in life. I got married almost a decade ago. I knew this woman less than a year but, was “following my heart”. Less than a year later I was being served with divorce papers and started racking up attorney's fees for the divorce proceedings which ensued. Ultimately I suffered a substantial financial losses but, nothing compared to the emotional pain and suffering. As I recited my nuptials less than a year before the thought of this result never crossed my mind. This turned out to be the biggest disappointment I had ever experienced. I was attached to a completely different result.
After the events of this divorce came to a close I forced myself to pick up the pieces and sort out what was left. There were times that I felt like “I can't” but, I remembered something I heard once… “If you can't you must. If you must you can.” Like a Phoenix from the ashes I felt my focus come back. I created a life plan for myself; where I wanted to be in a year, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years and more. What was my legacy going to be? I evaluated what I could have done better, what I did right and how to garner better results from relationships. I have found that became a better and stronger person from this.
The take home on this story is that no matter how different the results are from what you expected, you will rise up, break the chains of bad decision making, learn, change and prosper in the future. After all, if you do what you have always done, you will get what you've always gotten.
Here are few great tips on how you can take what you have learned from unexpected results and turn them to your advantage:
Examine the result you got compare it to the result you desired and focus on the desired outcome.
Take your time. Napoleon never made an immediate decision. He waited at least 3 days. He figured that in that time the matter would settle itself … if not, he would have a well-seasoned solution developed.
Make yourself number one! Embrace the fact that you deserve a positive outcome and you are good enough for great things. Keep repeating this to yourself until this is tattooed on your belief system.
Without failure there is rarely growth. Here's to a future for you that garner the results that help you grow.