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||June 12, 2005|
The Art of Letting Go of The Past
More and more it seems that this newsletter is becoming a forum for my learning and personal growth; a sort of journal of self discovery, if you will. I hope you the readers are getting something out of it as well. All the amazing emails I get from you folks lead me to believe that my thoughts more often than not resonate with yours.
About a year ago I went through an excruciating divorce. I will of course spare you the torrid details but, I have had a very hard time with closure which has really prevented me from moving on with my life. I know I am not alone in this.
The other day I was flipping through the Tibetan Book of The Dead which is an amazing read and if you haven't already read it you certainly should give it a look. One thing that came up for me is the little death like experiences we encounter on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. The passing of a job, passing of birthdays, children growing up and of course the passing of relationships and marriages. And it is impossible sometimes to experience some of these passings with out a certain level of grief.
They say there are five distinct stages of grief. I know I have experienced them and maybe you have as well. As an example, we can apply these 5 stages to a traumatic event most all of us have experienced: The Dead Battery! You're going to be late to work so you rush out to your car, place the key in the ignition and turn it on. You hear nothing but a grind; the battery is dead.
As I went through my divorce understanding these various stages was a real sense of comfort to me. Recognizing my behavior and feelings and knowing that you can sometimes get stuck in one of the stages made it OK to feel. While I am still trying to heal from this I know that as I pass through each stage that I am moving that much closer to closure.
Another tool that has helped me enormously are the following steps to letting go of the past. This is very easy to master and once mastered will become a tool you will always have in your arsenal.
Live life in the now. Don’t wait until tomorrow. Remember, the past is dead and gone and the future is undetermined all we have is the gift of today and that is why it is called a present.
Being The Best In Every Area
Define What "Excellence" Means To You
Organize Your Actions
Decide What You Want For Your Family
Shape Your Own Character
When you achieve complete congruence between your values and your goals, like a hand in a glove, you feel strong, happy, healthy and fully integrated as a person. You develop a kind of courage that makes you completely unafraid to make decisions and take action. Your whole life improves when you begin living your life by the values that you most admire.
Second, discipline yourself to live in complete alignment with the values, virtues and qualities that are most important to you. This is the key to character.
The quest for self-acceptance and a better body begins with an attitude adjustment. Here's how to start the process.
Make peace with your mirror. Too often, people say, "I hate my body," when it's far more motivating to think about what you like best - even if some things need improvement. Try this: Stand in front of the mirror and identify your best assets. Embrace them, even flaunt them. Only then should you ask, "What do I most want to change?" With a balanced body perspective, you can construct a reasonable plan to effect that change.
Get goal-setting help. Once you've defined what a better body means to you, run your views past your doctor or trainer. Professionals can not only provide a reality check (if the body you want is not attainable or healthy, they can help you come up with a more realistic focus) but also help you devise a workable way to meet your goals.
Rally the right support. Positive people can help you reach your goals and feel good about yourself; seek them out and surround yourself with them. Ask a trusted friend and confidante to help you stay on track and investigate the options in your community, local fitness facility or club. If you feel put-off by the fit bodies at a club you visit, ask about beginner-level classes and groups. Keep looking until you find a facility you're comfortable with.
Tune out toxic people. Just as positive people can help boost your body image, negative people can bring it down. "Energy vampires" suck the energy out of others just so they can feel better. While openly rude individuals are easy to spot, comments from apparently well-meaning friends or relatives might be subtler but have an even greater negative impact. Remember that a person who puts you down is the one with the problem.
Enjoy the journey. Your body is a work in progress; it gets better every day. Appreciate and embrace your journey rather than focusing on the final destination. As your fitness plan progresses, tune in to the ways your body is becoming stronger, more toned and more energetic. Celebrate your successes and reward yourself, whether it's with a new book, a bubble bath or just a mental pat on the back, as you accomplish each step on your path.
Create power from within. Feelings about yourself and your body should not be dictated by outside sources; they should come from within. You have the power to create a positive self-image of who you are and how you look. Developing a sense of self-worth and self-esteem is the foundation for appreciating your individuality and for making intelligent choices in all areas of your life.
Choose substance over form. Finally, exercise sensibly, eat a balanced diet and take care of yourself. Intelligent eating and exercise promote a longer, healthier, happier life. Always strive for your own optimal fitness and health levels, not society's definition of the ideal body. Remember to appreciate your own soul and personality rather than basing your self-worth on your appearance.
Don't forget to pound the water. What I suggest is adding the juice of half a lemon or 4 tablespoons of unsweetened cranberry juice to 32 ounces of water with a sprinkle of Steviva Brand Stevia Powder . Aside from being less than 2 carbs, you will get the health benefits that the stevia provides along with the vitamin C and electrolytes that lemon have. You can substitute limes for lemons if you get bored. Click here to order stevia powder.
“It is never about how good your voice is; it is only about feeling the urge to sing, and then having the courage to do it with the voice you are given.”
-- Katie in ‘True to Form’ by Elizabeth Berg
How often have you allowed fear and your inner critic to stop you from doing something you were inspired to do?
Helen Keller said, "Life is either a grand adventure or nothing.” When we allow fear and criticism to stop us in our tracks, we give up that grand adventure. What a waste!
“Be an all-out, not a hold-out.”
-- Norman Vincent Peale
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